


you are my everything (i love you)

by HoneyCoconut



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: But also, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, Post-Kerberos Mission, Pre-Kerberos Mission, and I don't believe Keith telling the clone "I love you" was the first time, at the end, look they love each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-04
Updated: 2019-11-04
Packaged: 2021-01-23 00:09:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21310891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HoneyCoconut/pseuds/HoneyCoconut
Summary: Four times, Keith tells Shiro that he loves him.One time, Keith tells Shiro that he loves him too.
Relationships: Keith/Shiro (Voltron)
Comments: 20
Kudos: 89





	you are my everything (i love you)

“I love you.”

In any other situation, a sunset would have been a fitting moment to confess a crush. Well.  
Shiro freezes, and turn to look at Keith. Keith stares back, unblinking even as his cheeks flush cherry red. Maybe he can pass it off as sunburn, even if it’s unlikely. Shiro made him put on sunscreen.

“What?” Shiro croaks, swallowing his mouthful of too-dry chocolate cake which they’d gotten at the grocery store just half an hour from the garrison. The cake tastes horrible, but Keith loves it, mainly because Shiro got it for him, but also because it is the first birthday cake he’s had in years.

“I said I love you,” Keith repeats stubbornly, and looks down at his lap. He wrings his hands, smearing chocolate all over his fingers. He’ll have to wash his new gloves – a birthday present from Shiro – when he gets back to the garrison. “And I know you don’t feel the same. It’s okay. I understand.”

Keith understands, he really does. Who would love him, after all? There are lots of people interested in Shiro, and Shiro knows so; Keith just doesn’t compare. He is not beautiful, or kind, or funny. He is only angry, and quiet, and a good pilot.

“Whatever you say, don’t apologise,” Keith continues when Shiro opens his mouth. That would be the worst part of all, to have Shiro say something purely out of pity.

“I wasn’t gonna,” Shiro says, looking uncomfortable, a fish out of water, and Keith’s not sure if he believes him. Especially not since Shiro doesn’t continue.

If he really wasn’t going to apologise, surely there’d have been something else he would’ve said. But he’s silent.

Shiro’s slice of cake hangs from his hand sadly, forgotten.

Keith turns away from Shiro, leaning against the hover bike at his back. The desert dirt crunches under him, and he fists his fingers around sand, repeating the motion over and over, as though the sand will stay in his hand if he tries often enough.

“You don’t have to apologise for not loving me,” Keith says, trying to keep his voice light and conversational, because if he lets Shiro see how big a deal this is for him, then it’ll be a big deal to him too. But Keith doesn’t want it to be a big deal. He only wants Shiro to know how important he is to Keith. Besides, it would be ridiculous if Shiro apologised for something he cannot control. Keith swallows heavily. “I just wanted to tell you. Because I don’t wanna hide it from you.”

Because he knows, deep down, that he could no longer hide it if he tried.

Shiro is so sweet, and so helpful and kind and strong and, most importantly, safe. And it immobilizes Keith, sets him on fire and douses him in ice. It sends him flying in the only way he cannot even try to control.

If it were anyone but Shiro, he’d be scared of how helpless he feels in Shiro’s presence.

He realised he would be unable to hide it any longer that very morning, when Shiro woke Keith with a bright smile, wearing his civilian clothes. When he told Keith to get up, they were going to the nearest town to celebrate Keith’s birthday.

Shiro had bought that awful chocolate cake, and later in the desert, he’d laughed when Keith grimaced at the first bite, and it had been the first time Keith had been happy from hearing someone else laughing.

And- he knows Shiro does not see him the same way.

At twenty-three, Shiro sees him, with his scrappy sixteen years, as a child.

Children do not have romantic or sexual appeal, and Keith tells himself he’s fine with that.

“I-” Shiro starts, his voice scratchy, and Keith turns his head to look at him.

In the sun’s dying light, Shiro’s black hair is dipped in gold. He’s beautiful.

“I’m sorry,” Shiro says, and Keith scowls and reaches over to punch his shoulder. Shiro flinches, but continues. “I really am! I just…”

Keith looks into the sunset and ignores how it makes his eyes tear up. “You’re just not in love with me. Like I said, you don’t have to apologise.”

“You’re so _young_,” Shiro says, and he sounds pained. Keith’s gut lurches. “It would be immoral of me- “

“Race me back to the garrison?” he interrupts Shiro, flashing him a smile that neither of them believe. “I’ll bet you that I’m faster.”

Shiro sighs through his nose. Keith hates the expression he’s wearing: his eyebrows are furrowed, and his eyes hold the kind of sadness to them that steals Keith’s breath, punches him with the guilt of knowing he’s the reason Shiro’s sad.

“Of course I’ll race you,” Shiro agrees. Keith knows Shiro would never deny him something insubstantial as this. It’s why he asked.

Keith gets up quickly, brushing cake crumbs off his pants. He puts on his goggles while Shiro scans the area to make sure they won’t leave anything behind. Then they’re both sitting on their hover bikes, and without warning, Keith drives off, laughing when he hears Shiro’s quiet cursing, because that’s what he always does when Shiro swears.

If Keith wins the race because he drives far too fast and far too reckless, and hurries to park his hover bike before Shiro reaches the garrison, and then runs off just as Shiro pulls into the hangar, then neither of them mention it.

* * *

The second time Keith tells Shiro he loves him, it is a goodbye.

Keith’s seventeen and pressed up tightly against Shiro’s space suit as they hug, and the big gloved hands on the small of his back feel like home.

He mumbles it into Shiro’s chest almost too quietly to hear because there are people around them and he doesn’t want other cadets making fun of him once Shiro’s off to Kerberos, but Shiro hears anyways. He always manages to hear Keith when it’s important, no matter how quietly Keith speaks.

Keith’s throat knots up when Shiro’s arms tighten around him, lifting Keith off the ground without Shiro even noticing. He fights back the tears; him crying would only make it more difficult for Shiro, because he wouldn’t be able to console Keith in what little time they have before he has to go. And then he’d feel guilty.

Keith can’t be the reason for that.

Eyes burn on Keith’s skin, and his fingers tighten in the fabric of Shiro’s suit. It’s an unwelcome reminder of the cadets and officers and scientists and onlookers around them. He buries his face in the crook of Shiro’s neck, which he can only reach because Shiro’s bent over and because he’s been lifted a few centimetres.

“I’ll miss you,” he says shakily, the words clawing their way out of Keith’s throat. “I don’t know what I’ll do without you.”

Warm air dances on Keith’s exposed skin when Shiro inhales to talk, but then there’s someone clearing their throat impatiently. And Keith’s aware they’re on a set schedule, but he wishes they hadn’t cleared their throat, because now Shiro’s pulling away and swallowing whatever it is he wanted to say.

And it’ll be three, maybe four, or even five years until Shiro’s back. Keith will be at least twenty, and Shiro already twenty-seven. So much will happen until then, and as someone not related to Shiro, Keith has no way to communicate with Shiro in that time.

Keith aches with a homesickness that only Shiro can cure.

Shiro’s already turning away, but then he stops, and steps close to Keith again, taking his hands carefully and leaning down the slightest bit. Keith looks up at him in surprise, his cheeks tinted red. His heart beats in his throat, and for a fleeting moment he thinks Shiro might kiss him.

They pretend the cadets’ murmuring hasn’t just gotten louder. There’s nothing they can do about that.

Shiro doesn’t kiss him. Keith doesn’t have the time to feel disappointed before Shiro’s talking.

“Wait for me,” Shiro says quietly, looking into Keith’s eyes, looking the most unsure Keith’s ever seen. “Please.”

It’s a silly request; they both know Keith will look up at the starry sky every night, thinking of Shiro.

“Of course I’ll wait for you,” Keith replies without missing a beat, squeezing Shiro’s hands through his gloves. “I promise I’ll be here when you come back.”

It’s an easy promise, because Keith would have waited even if Shiro hadn’t asked.

Shiro’s smile is hopeful, and just a bit disbelieving, like he doesn’t think Keith will truly wait for him. The sun beats down on them; Keith can see a bead of sweat running down Shiro’s neck and disappearing under his collar.

And then Shiro really has to leave, and his hands are slipping out of Keith’s, leaving him grasping at thin air. Keith watches Shiro’s retreating back, watches as Shiro walks across the ramp and enters the spaceship. Shiro turns around just before the hatch closes behind him, Professor Holt and Matthew, and the fraction of a second when his and Keith’s eyes lock is a too-short eternity.

It isn’t until the spaceship has taken off that Keith thinks about the implications of what Shiro’s asked of him.

He stays at the launching site, ignoring how sometimes, there’s people staring at him, at the way he’s looking up into the sky even though the spaceship is long gone.

This time, he does get a sunburn, because he stays until there’s no one but him left, until it’s dark.

Thinking of Shiro, he allows himself a careful smile.

* * *

The third time, he calls Shiro a brother and he almost means it.

Shiro is, to Keith, like a brother, expect that Keith could never see himself related by blood or adoption to Shiro.

No, the ways in which Shiro is Keith’s brother is simply how Keith trusts Shiro with everything, and how Keith trusts Shiro to have his back even when they’re fighting. How he’ll always come back for Shiro, even when it would be easier not to.

Like the first time, Keith’s “I love you” surprises Shiro. Seems to, at least.

Perhaps Shiro – or whoever it is who lives inside Shiro’s body – did not expect Keith to love him after all that’s happened.

“Just let go, Keith.”

If it were anyone else, Keith might have. Except it’s _not _anyone else.

It’s Shiro. And if Keith lets go, then neither of them will have a happy ending.

He fights.

* * *

“What _did _actually happen while you fought my clone?” Shiro asks one evening when the paladins sit around the fire. They’re talking and laughing loudly, and for Shiro, it can be a bit too much sensation sometimes after so long on the astral plane. Keith on the other hand simply likes his peace and quiet.

Keith looks up from Kosmo’s fur. Shiro’s leaning against Black; he’s a bit off-balance because of his missing arm, and he’s taken to sitting or leaning against others whenever he can. When Keith pats the purple grass next to himself, Shiro hesitates before sliding down slowly so he’s sitting at Keith’s right, keeping his back against Black.

They pet Kosmo in silence; Shiro waiting for Keith to answer while Keith fights to find the right words. He’d hoped Shiro wouldn’t forget what happened. Because then he wouldn’t have to tell Shiro, and not talking would mean not being forced to think about what went down. Thinking about it hurts, sometimes.

“You tried to kill me,” Keith says quietly, starting with what Shiro already knows. He stares down at Kosmo’s rough fur. “And you almost did.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Keith sees Shiro’s flinch. “I’m sorry,” Shiro says, like he has many times before.

Keith lets out a small, quiet laugh. He leans into Shiro’s space to nudge his shoulder with his own. “Don’t apologise. It’s not like you succeeded anyways.”

“But I did give you a scar,” Shiro says, and he’s looking at Keith with those beautiful eyes of his. Keith keeps looking down at Kosmo.

“Yes.” He strokes Kosmo’s back, and his hand ends up close to Shiro’s. The difference in size is, on some days, distracting. “And every time, it reminds me that we made it out. Just like we always do.”

Shiro frowns. “I still feel bad.”

“That’s okay. We’ll work on it.” Keith moves his hand a centimetre closer to Shiro’s. “Anyways, we were talking about the fight. Your arm changed somehow. I think Haggar gave the clones updated arms, because you had a sword, and-”

“A sword?” Shiro interrupts, and Keith can’t even pretend to feel annoyed. Not when it’s Shiro.

“Yeah, and it could heat up. It’s why I’ve got a burn scar and not a cut.” He moves his hand another centimetre closer to Shiro’s, and he can feel the warmth radiating off Shiro’s skin.

“Huh, I never thought about that.” A few seconds pass, and then Shiro says, “I have a question.”

“Shoot."

"You’re going to think I’m an ass.”

Keith turns his head to look at Shiro, curious. “Go on anyways.”

Shiro squirms a bit, deliberately looking away from Keith. It’s not until Keith takes Shiro’s hand that he finally says, “Well- how did you manage to cut off my arm? Because, and I feel bad for saying this, really I do, but technically I’m a better fighter than you. At least under usual circumstances.”

“Oh. Didn’t think you’d ask that. Um, I distracted you,” Keith answers, watching Shiro entangle their fingers. “I told you that you’re-” he stops to think. He does not want to tell Shiro the truth, because even though ‘brother’ felt right in the moment, he now thinks it ill-fitting, “-my best friend. And that I love you.”

“Oh,” Shiro says, so very softly. He’s looking at Keith, closer than Keith is used to.  
“Yeah.” He looks down at his knees awkwardly.

Shiro tugs on his hand softly, and Keith immediately looks up. He can’t ignore that Shiro’s looking at him the way he’d look at a puzzle. His voice is quiet, and there’s something that Keith can’t identify. “Did you mean it?”

“Of course.” Loving Shiro is the only constant in Keith’s life.

“Oh.” Shiro’s silent for a few seconds. Keith will stick to what he said, but he cannot deny that he’s getting uncomfortable. The way Shiro looks at him makes him feel too much like he’s on an operation table, about to be taken apart. “You know I didn’t think you’d ever say that again.”

"Hm?”

Shiro takes a deep breath. Keith wonders if he’s nervous. He seems to be, but Keith can’t recall a time when Shiro was truly nervous, and it confuses him.

“The whole ‘I love you’ thing. I didn’t think I’d ever hear that again,” Shiro says, the words rushing out of his mouth.

Kosmo whines at their feet, and Keith quickly resumes petting him with his free hand. He’s grateful for the precious few seconds he wins to think about Shiro’s words. And if he didn’t know better, he’d think Shiro is scared.

"Why?” And to Keith, it doesn’t make sense. He’d promised Shiro to wait for him, to be there when he came back. He doesn’t understand why Shiro might feel unsure about Keith still loving him now that they’re together again.

It occurs to him that he does not know better. He does not know if Shiro is scared.

He does, however, notice how shaky Shiro’s breath has gotten.

“Because-because before I left, you said it so freely. And when I came back from Kerberos, you never said it. I thought you’d moved on. I thought maybe-maybe there was someone else you loved now. Or maybe no one at all.”

_Oh_. Shiro’s insecure. This, Keith recognises all too well.

“Oh, Shiro,” he murmurs, turning his whole body to Shiro, abandoning Kosmo in favour of holding onto Shiro’s hand with both of his own. He can’t tell if it’s Shiro’s hand or his own that are trembling. “I’m always going to love you. If not romantically, then at least as a friend.”

Somewhere between the lines, there’s something both of them know in their bones but are not yet consciously aware of.

“And which one is it now?” Shiro asks, his hold on Keith’s hand tightening in a way that comforts them both. If only Keith could give him a clear answer.

“I’m not completely sure. It’s different than before, and I don’t know how to identify it,” Keith says, scooting closer to hug Shiro. Into the fabric of Shiro’s paladin suit, he whispers, “I’m sorry.”

Shiro wraps his arm around his waist, and it stays there even after Keith sits by Shiro’s side again, petting Kosmo.

“Don’t apologise.” Shiro tightens his arm a bit when Keith leans against his side. “I…I’m not sure, either.”

And isn’t that something. Keith thinks he might have known, deep down. But now they’ve both laid down their cards.

“Oh,” he says, because he cannot think of anything else to say.

They stay there, leaning against Black, for the rest of the evening. They don’t talk, but that’s because they’re both processing the possibility of something that hung in the air between them since day one.

* * *

“You’re my everything,” Shiro says, years after the war.

Keith looks up from the cookbook. “Huh?”

Shiro’s standing in the doorway, smiling at him. He’s wearing his garrison uniform with his glasses tucked into his breast pocket. The shirt is wrinkled; he’ll have to iron it again soon.

Walking into the small kitchen, his hands in his pockets, Shiro says, “You’re my everything, Keith.”

Keith flushes a pretty pink; he knows this has been coming for a long time, but it takes him off guard anyways.

Trying to gain control of the situation, he sets the cooking knife next to the cubed potatoes. “This is kinda out of the blue, you know.”

Shiro laughs softly, coming to a stop less than a step away from Keith, short-circuiting Keith’s brain. “Yeah, I know.”

“Did something happen?” Keith asks, looking up at Shiro and wiping his hands on the apron. ‘Kiss the cook’ it says, a ridiculous gift they’d gotten from Hunk after they’d moved in together. They made fun of it, but secretly they love it and take turns wearing it.

“A colleague asked when our anniversary is,” Shiro says, and lets out a hum. He reaches out with his human hand to brush Keith’s bangs out of his eyes. Keith’s used to this; it has been over a year since Shiro started doing this, both in public and at home. Keith remembers being the most surprised out of everyone the first time it happened.

“But we’re not a couple,” Keith manages to say after a few seconds of staring up at Shiro. He tries not to notice how Shiro’s fingertips burn against his temple.

“I thought so too, but- are we really not?” Shiro asks, turning Keith’s world upside down even as he changes nothing at all. “We’ve been living together for years. We do everything together. I just never noticed until today.”

“Doesn’t mean anything,” Keith says, even as he smiles and steps closer to Shiro. Shiro’s hands settle on his waist and Keith reaches up to smooth out the lapel of Shiro’s jacket.

“We love each other,” Shiro reasons. He’s smiling and pulling Keith closer.

“You have a point.” Keith says, amused. This conversation is easier than he expected it to be. But then, everything is easy when it’s them. “But you still haven’t asked me to be your boyfriend.”

“Hm.” Shiro looks down at Keith, considering, and for a split second, Keith’s heart stops. But then Shiro asks, “Would you be willing to be my husband instead?”

Keith’s eyes widen and he pulls back enough so he doesn’t have to crane his neck to look up at Shiro. “Your husband?” he repeats, dumbfounded.

"Yes?”

“Isn’t that- sudden?” Keith asks, even as he grows less and less sceptical with every passing second.

Shiro sighs, but it’s not aimed at Keith. “Maybe. But…” Shiro cups Keith’s cheek, and Keith leans into it instinctively, “think of it this way: what will actually change if we got married?”

Shiro has a point and he _knows _it.

“You’re awful, Shiro.” Keith leans up on his tiptoes and kisses Shiro’s cheek. He can feel Shiro’s wide smile. “I’d love to marry you.”

Shiro grins and picks Keith up, holding him tightly so that when he spins Keith around, nothing flies off the counters.

“I love you, you know,” Shiro declares, his face as bright as the midday sun.

"Yes, I know!” Keith laughs.

And for the first time, he does not say ‘I love you.’

For the first time, he says, “I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Whew! Squeezed this out this afternoon, and some parts are edited, others not but eh :)


End file.
